How to entertain kids during car rides?

Car journeys require a lot of planning. Especially, if it is a family ride with children whose boredom levels can be put to test. While my children were very small, we had the car seat which proved to a hindrance to our smooth rides. Indian railways wish to deter our vacation plans by maintaining their 4 month advanced booking. So we are left with no choice but to resort to our car journeys. Over the years we have cut the luggage and food bag by half on experience. I refrain my children from carrying more than 2 to 3 toy sets. I keep a creative bag so they focus on their artistic side.

These are the contents in their bag:
Story books
A set of crayons/sketch pens
Few doodle pads
Copy coloring books
Activity books, felt busy books
Sticker books
Board games

I felt during school time, kids concentrate on outdoor play and do not play mindful games. My lo is 3 who loves sorting/building blocks and pretend play games. In the car she gets restless and wish to come to the front seat. She shuffles between coloring and requesting for music. My son who is 8 in into pokemon card collection and bey blades. He too will rotate all the contents of the bag judiciously. Then at times they get restless.

With trial and error, I came across these games-

20 questions -  It is a guessing game where the child asks 20 questions and you tell yes or no....By the end of all questions, the child has to guess name, animal or object.

Buzz - Better version of tables. At multiples of all numbers, you have to say buzz in turns. If you tell the number by mistake you get ousted .

I spy game - Where you spot maximum objects on basis of some condition. For eg 3 red cars, 2 monkeys on the tree, 3 fruit trucks etc

Then you have paper games like Name, place, animal and thing, hangman, dot game, word search and tic-tac-toe which can extend the hunger pangs.

And yes, thank God for brands like McDonald's, Cafe Coffee Day ...My son is sure not to miss it. He has never felt kms as dear to him as before !

Insight from Parenting talk by Chitra T V, Counselor at Nurturing Nature

I had called in my psychologist friend Chitra Aunty to speak to the mothers of our layout. It was an interactive session

The topic was 'How do we talk to child effectively?'

This is what she had to say

“ It is the core responsibility of the parent to take care of the physical and mental well-being of the child. We should ask ourselves what we did different that our parents did to us? How close we were to them? What was  your  relation with them? From one to 7 years the beliefs and projection of the world around us form an unconscious program which we play on our children. We feel our actions mirror like our parents. As we thought that is the way..

Earlier disobedience was a crime, now children are inquisitive about the purpose. Do not weigh the children with consequences to the behaviour. They feel pressured and will resist urges to co-operate in every possible manner. Give them unconditional praise and positive strokes ( hug, affectionate pat) in small parcels. Younger children crave for love, attention and appreciation. As they get older, our parenting approach concentrates on criticism and passing judgements (appearance, peer circle). They stop to share their personal moments to us fearing the expectations. Another thing, one should keep in mind that as teenagers reach early adulthood, they are not fully equipped to make sound judgements, and cannot make rational decisions. That explains the suicide rates during that age. As parents we have to play it safe. Try to make a conscious effort to balance the number of yes's and nos. Our construct of language becomes their belief. Acknowledge the feeling. This lays the foundation of empathy.

How to lay ground rules? With job opportunities available in cities we are forced to rely on nuclear set ups...With occasional visits from grandparents, there is a disruption in the harmony of events that take place. They are chances that children side on the soft side displayed by them. In situations like this, it is better for the parents to make clear if certain rules are followed. Whether it is food habits , timetable or extra curricular activities, everything should written in black and white. To tackle the persuasion of the child , we have to settle for the broken record technique - repeat the same phrase of refusal again and again till the child gets in the head that there is no way out “.

On the final note, I thank the mothers of our layout who brought in their personal examples that made it possible to make the talk realistic.

Please feel free to contact:

Ms Chitra
Counselor At Nurturing Nature, Tippasandra, Bengaluru
www.nurturingnature.in
https://www.facebook.com/nurturingnaturebangalore/
counsellorchitra@gmail.com

Is it ok to daydream?

Do you find your kid sitting in the table fiddling with his pencil and staring at the ceiling? There are so many instances when you are tempted to startle and scare the wits of him. In a middle of a conversation you will look at him and ask him whether he got it. He will be sitting with a glazed book or hymning his favorite tune.

Repeated behavior tends to make us anxious and wonder whether daydreaming will affect your child's overall progress. Will he be able to concentrate on his studies? How can he care of himself if he keeps forgetting? Is it a issue that needs to be treated?

Several studies recently show that daydreaming is pretty much a normal phenomenon among children. Children let go from the present situation and sit back to review it with innumerable possibilities. It is a stress reliving mechanism.

Teachers tend to complain to the parents about the daydreaming instances. The child does not play attention is the common complaint. Sometimes the hammering of heavy dose of information tends to burden the grasping potential of the child. The child's vision gets blurred and he gets transported to a fleeting pleasant memory. He will forget his physical sense and not be involved in the social setting. It will take a knock from a chalk piece to bring him back to reality. In such a case it is better to have an open dialogue with the class teacher.

As a concerned parent, you should look for cues whether your kid is prone to daydreaming. Habitual daydreaming can also be dealt with a counsellor. Meanwhile you can do the following tips to bring the child back to focus:

Limit screen time : The content and number of hours spent influences the child's deal with the fantasy world. Periodic reviewing of the programs can help the parent provide believable explanation to the queries posed by the child.

Change in the routine : Does your child not mingle with his friends often? Is he more to himself? Does he take a long time to read his lesson or finish a page? Does he play with his food?
Ask those questions of his mind workings during meal time. Get the feelings out of him.

Sleep : Make sure he gets his share of sleep. Deprived sleep makes you tired, inattentive and forgetful. 8-10 hours of sleep is a must.

Engage in physical activity : Yoga and meditation help your body remain agile and refreshed. Identify some sport and let him do ritual training in it. Exercise should be balanced with nutritious meals.

Writing pad : Always have a writing pad with color pens in your bag wherever you go. Your kid can copy sketch, write poetry or write anything to him engaged. Words, imagery are expression tools that are self contained. 

Since it is a natural phenomenon, care should be taken that the child should not be reprimanded to come out of it.  Identify the situations where the child is not comfortable.  Provide the right amount of love and care. Tackling this problem in the early stages can help in the long run.

Disclaimer : These are my views and findings on the topic. One is free to experiment and voice their opinion on dealing with this issue.

Till then Happy Parenting!