Insight from Parenting talk by Chitra T V, Counselor at Nurturing Nature

I had called in my psychologist friend Chitra Aunty to speak to the mothers of our layout. It was an interactive session

The topic was 'How do we talk to child effectively?'

This is what she had to say

“ It is the core responsibility of the parent to take care of the physical and mental well-being of the child. We should ask ourselves what we did different that our parents did to us? How close we were to them? What was  your  relation with them? From one to 7 years the beliefs and projection of the world around us form an unconscious program which we play on our children. We feel our actions mirror like our parents. As we thought that is the way..

Earlier disobedience was a crime, now children are inquisitive about the purpose. Do not weigh the children with consequences to the behaviour. They feel pressured and will resist urges to co-operate in every possible manner. Give them unconditional praise and positive strokes ( hug, affectionate pat) in small parcels. Younger children crave for love, attention and appreciation. As they get older, our parenting approach concentrates on criticism and passing judgements (appearance, peer circle). They stop to share their personal moments to us fearing the expectations. Another thing, one should keep in mind that as teenagers reach early adulthood, they are not fully equipped to make sound judgements, and cannot make rational decisions. That explains the suicide rates during that age. As parents we have to play it safe. Try to make a conscious effort to balance the number of yes's and nos. Our construct of language becomes their belief. Acknowledge the feeling. This lays the foundation of empathy.

How to lay ground rules? With job opportunities available in cities we are forced to rely on nuclear set ups...With occasional visits from grandparents, there is a disruption in the harmony of events that take place. They are chances that children side on the soft side displayed by them. In situations like this, it is better for the parents to make clear if certain rules are followed. Whether it is food habits , timetable or extra curricular activities, everything should written in black and white. To tackle the persuasion of the child , we have to settle for the broken record technique - repeat the same phrase of refusal again and again till the child gets in the head that there is no way out “.

On the final note, I thank the mothers of our layout who brought in their personal examples that made it possible to make the talk realistic.

Please feel free to contact:

Ms Chitra
Counselor At Nurturing Nature, Tippasandra, Bengaluru
www.nurturingnature.in
https://www.facebook.com/nurturingnaturebangalore/
counsellorchitra@gmail.com