Is your child watching you?

I am very fascinated by the way the children observe and react to situations. Due credit should be given to the parents who set the benchmark of their actions and responses. How many times you feel you should not have voiced like that or behaved in a particular fashion? And lo! within a week you find your child mimicking your actions.


The psychology of all this can be traced to a particular scientist Giacomo Rizolatti who came up with a concept called Mirror neurons around 1980’s. His experiments by attaching electrodes to a set of monkeys showed a particular set of neurons fired in the same area of the brain when a monkey picked an object and gave it to the other monkey. Another experiment cemented the belief of thinking alike, where the behavior of an experimenter of putting an object into his mouth was mimicked by the monkeys. The research is still at a nascent stage, but has made an important contribution to neuroscience. Children with developmental difficulties will not be able to activate this set of neurons.


We as parents should express caution on our structure of language. Whether it is an instruction , demand or suggestion the tone and manner it is conveyed matters to the child.


I will give you few examples where by rearranging the words and adding positive adjectives.

1. Instead of telling the child, you are smart you can add a description like you have worked very hard to get this far. This is done so that the child can understand the implications on his behaviour
2. Instead of asserting your child to perform a particular task, make a conscious effort to sit with him and ask what he wants to do. In a relaxed tone you convey why your task has to be done and in between validate his feeling.
3. I go with this thumb rule of offering your kid a choice. Let the ball be in his court.

Nowadays the sensitivity aspect cannot be ignored or shunned. Our acceptance of our child as a human reaffirms his purpose of existence.


Our home settings are ideal for the children to try first hand in their pretend play and their association with peers. If you notice you will find your lo imitating your behavior when talking to her dolls. Also in case of heated arguments with your kid, you will find your child talking like you.


You have to raise the questions from their end and make the child conclude what is best of them. You also check the hidden cues whether the child is hungry, tired or just overwhelmed. By reprimanding and shouting, you will not get desired results.


Parenting is a constant effort always laced with a spoonful of love

Happy New Year, it's time for resolutions

New year resolutions , how cool are you to follow that? . To welcome the new year,  people make goals to make a difference. It is the constant pursuit to make something easier, smarter and practical. Parenting falls in that bracket. For that we need to clear our foggy vision. There is something called internal cleansing.

Here are some breathers for those  skeptical moms who feel that the coming year won't be different.

1. Love yourself : As clichéd it may sound, nothing seems right if you don't feel right. You value yourself and tidy yourself up. Look in the mirror and think how you can look good. Take that risk to change your wardrobe or even your hair. You will feel better and more optimistic.
2. Relax : It is not as easy as it sounds. As mothers, we feel the need to be in control with everything. We get overworked when our kids don't accept our likes and routines.  You need to  stand back and let kids learn the hard way on their own. When there is no budging, the rule stands clear. Take it or leave it.
3. Plan the moment and keep rest for later : As a mother of 2 young kids, I tend to physically attend to the younger one more than the oldest. My older son is emotional dependent. He continuously voices his need and feels the unfairness of the situation. There might be a fight or a tantrum following that. I keep silent and be non reactive. I take care of things that have to be finished and keep the rest in mind. A bedtime story or activity time with my son will compensate.
4. You communicate well : With lots of things running in the head it is better to clarify your plans for the day and avoid misunderstandings. Whether it is with your spouse, kids and family put your thoughts on any subject in the open. In case of younger kids, make them feel special about their contributions.
5. Have a ball : And lastly enjoy each and every moment. Take time to pursue that long lost hobby, dust that SLR and capture life as it is or act like a monkey and swoon to funky music. In a day allot some time to let your hair loose and immerse in some talent you are passionate about. There are no hiccups and you are the best critic.

Have a blast and wonderful year ahead! 2018 awaits…..